Retrospective: When the Juices Run Out

I find time quite interesting. Especially since I started accounting for every hour of it when I started working in a Kenyan digital advertising agency. If you have to fill timesheets you might feel where am coming from.

It’s not like I haven’t accounted for it before. It’s just, breaking it down to hours was a whole new experience for me. It taught me that I was rather comfortable hiding behind the size of a day or a week, even a month.

If you achieve something in a day, try and count how many hours it has taken you to achieve it. Am not saying the magnitude of the excitement will reduce, it’s just, it might sober it a little.

What am trying to say is, am very conscious of what I achieve or don’t achieve in relation to the time I have been given.

Of course, you’re smart and you have already figured that this is one of those mid-year stock taking kind of posts. Only it’s a bit different. Just a bit.

This is about failing midway, tasting failure in your mouth and trying to figure out how best to keep moving.

Knocked down 7 times get up 8 kind of spirit.

So first, let’s talk about failure.

I am young. I haven’t worked that many jobs before so I don’t have significant first-hand experiences with failure. Well, except for not getting an A in chemistry in K.C.S.E and not starting a nails business in campus.

It’s true that you really don’t know yourself until you have failed. It leaves a taste in your system. Which is what I think makes people say to not dwell on it for too long. Because it’s a cyclone. It can suck you into a cycle of immobility. And fear. Fear that you have failed and fear 2.0, the fact that you’re not moving. And tiring. Because in theory you know or might have a clue about what you need to do, it’s just, that voice is struggling to come out clearly. And Scary. Because people around you are making strides you should have made and even though you’re on your own journey, you know you’re falling behind. Let’s throw in that bit about time being the one thing you can’t recover… When you let all these pass through you, it is overwhelming.

Which brings me to consequences.

What makes this experience different are the consequences that I am staring at. When there are things at stake that don’t just concern you alone, it makes it harder to bear I think. For instance, if you’re employed, it may mean being possibly let go or something more lenient. If you run a business, it may be lack of income. Whatever you might lose, our failure will leave a mark on us. A mark we can’t cover up or ignore.

Failure doesn’t define us though. If you’re in the pit of it right now, you might not believe me right now. But failure doesn’t define us. What we do or not do to recover is what does.

I have learnt that the reason failing takes a toll on us is it reveals to us what we are not. And coming to terms with that can be quite hard. As human beings, we generally like to think very highly of ourselves. So when all those layers are peeled back and you come face to face with your parts that don’t measure up, it’s hard to look at that person in the mirror.

But since life is for the living, let’s talk about how to rise up from that pit stronger and better.

1. Own up

I think this is the hardest part of the process. And to do it effectively, do it without blaming anyone else but you. This might sound controversial and all, but the lesser people you have to make amends with, the faster you will move.
Then list clearly the areas you failed in and why.

When you’re done with this, forgive yourself fully. And accept the consequences coming your way.

2. Figure out what you loved in the first place

What had your juices pumping in the beginning of the year? Why was it important to you? Why did you lose focus of it?

These are very direct questions. So direct, clear answers would be great to help you move forward.

3. Where do you want to go from here?

Before we talk improvement plans and all, refresh your purpose and vision. Are you failing because you’re serving a purpose that’s not important to you? Are you failing because you didn’t prep for this particular phase of your journey? Do you want to keep going?

When you figure this out then you can come up with an honest improvement plan that you will be willing to stay accountable to.

In short, dig deep. Find the root cause.

4. Come up with a smart improvement plan

Y’all know the SMART rule yeah?

S – Specific. If the area to be improved on is not specific, you won’t address it efficiently and honestly.

M – Measurable. Break it down into an action that can be quantified. Like reading emails by 10:00 am if say you have an issue following up on things.

A – Attainable. Can you achieve it? Are you able to read all your emails by 10:00 am? If not, then work backwards and come up with a suitable time for you.

R – Realistic. Do you have the necessary skills and resources to get it done? Also, it is relevant for you?

T – Time-bound. When would you like to see change? In a month? In a quarter?  Then make sure you review progress.

With this in mind, come up with your areas of improvement, tasks you’ll do to get them done and the time frame you’ll get them done.

Have you had enough time in the pit? Get up and dust yourself. There’s pace to recover and time to account for.